Posted on Feb 26, 2019
Editorial note - This article is part of a series we are producing for new hijabis or anyone thinking or curious about wearing the hijab. Check back in the coming days for posts about essentials for your hijab-lifestyle wardrobe, why we wear the hijab (what the Quran says) and more!
Making the decision to wear the hijab is a huge milestone in your daughter’s life and is one worth celebrating! Just like you may celebrate occasions in her life like birthdays and graduations, I personally am a huge advocate of throwing parties to commemorate Islamic milestones and achievements such as wearing the hijab, starting to pray and memorizing chapters of the Quran. Why, you may wonder?
Whether your daughter attends Islamic or public school, there’s no hiding from the fact that many societies, including American, glorifies celebrations and party planning, so why not take control of that narrative and make it your own by adding an Islamic spin?
As someone who grew up having had a hijab party when she first began wearing it, I knew from a young age the significance of this decision. Now as a mom to a beautiful little girl, I realize how important it must have been for my mother to ensure that we celebrated my decision to start wearing the hijab. It’s crucial now more than ever before to cultivate an Islamic environment in the home and take advantage of every opportunity to show our kids just how beautiful our religion is in hopes that they will grow a true attachment and love for Islam within themselves.
Why She Wants to Wear Hijab
Talk to your daughter about why she is deciding to wear the hijab. Whether she wants to start practicing or is making the decision to wear it full time, it’s important for you to understand the reason behind your daughter’s decision. She may feel pressured by her friends who already wear the hijab or other members of the community. As a mother, it’s important to have an honest talk with your daughter make sure that she is comfortable with this decision.
Often times these talks start as a girl begins to enter puberty. Introducing the concept of wearing the hijab full time and laying a solid foundation as to why she should think about wearing it once puberty does hit can be a great way to ease this process and ensure that your daughter is confidant in her decision to wear the hijab and not develop any kind of resentment towards it.
Explaining to your daughter why many Muslim women wear the hijab is extremely crucial and can help build her confidence when she is confronted with the question of why she chose to wear it herself. Growing up, I was given the cliche answer of “modesty,” “because Allah (S) ordered us to,” or “it’s part of our religion.” I was never completely convinced by these answers. It wasn’t until I started university that I started to dig deep into this topic and discovered the following two ayahs and explanations that have made every dialogue about hijab much more engaging.
“O Prophet, tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to bring down over themselves [part] of their outer garments. That is more suitable that they will be known and not be abused. And ever is Allah Forgiving and Merciful.” [33:59].
“And tell the believing women to reduce [some] of their vision and guard their private parts and not expose their adornment except that which [necessarily] appears thereof and to wrap [a portion of] their headcovers over their chests and not expose their adornment except to their husbands, their fathers, their husbands' fathers, their sons, their husbands' sons, their brothers, their brothers' sons, their sisters' sons, their women, that which their right hands possess, or those male attendants having no physical desire, or children who are not yet aware of the private aspects of women. And let them not stamp their feet to make known what they conceal of their adornment. And turn to Allah in repentance, all of you, O believers, that you might succeed.” [24:31]
Helping her understand these verses and grow comfortable with the practice of wearing hijab and modest dressing will go far in boosting her confidence and commitment. To read more about these verses and insights, check out my post on Hijab As A Tool For interfaith Dialogue.
A Mom-Daughter Party Planning Experience
Let your daughter take control of the party planning details. This is her day after all, so make sure she is involved 100 percent of the way. Finding creative and tasteful Islamic resources has become more readily available in recent years, especially with the rise of small shops on Instagram and Etsy. Make the party planning a bonding experience by taking the time to sit down with your daughter and search for things like decor items and activity or game ideas.
Make it all about your daughter. This is HER hijab party after all, so take the time and effort to make it an extra special occasion where she feels loved. See if she would like to allot a time during the party talk to her guests about her journey and decision on wearing the hijab. This may encourage her friends to want to practice wearing it as well. Ask her if she would like to have a special seat at the party or head of the table where she can sit and be recognized throughout the event.
Take her on a shopping trip to pick out a special outfit for the party. If she decides to have it at home or a private venue, make arrangements for your daughter to do her hair and get pampered for her special day! Why get your daughter dressed up and have her hair done for a hijab party, you may ask? Although you and your daughter are celebrating her milestone of wearing the hijab, you don’t want your daughter to feel like she has to compromise on the things she may also enjoy, like styling her hair or getting pampered.
Although she may not be able to do these things outside of the home on a regular basis, why not enjoy them at an all-girls, special occasion like this one?
Thinking Outside of the Box
You don’t have to take the traditional route of having an at home or clubhouse-type party. See if your daughter is interested in having her hijab party done at a venue where your daughter and her friends can engage in a fun activity like a painting studio or bakery. Talk to her about what her hobbies and interests are, and see if you can find a place that offers party services. This is a great way for you to incorporate something your daughter loves to do into her own hijab party. Most places that offer party services will allow you to bring your own decorations so you can still add your personal touch to the venue.
You can also think outside of the box in terms of the itinerary for the party and what you would like to pass out as favors. You can still have your daughter talk to her guests at the beginning or during the party about her decision to wear hijab. There can also be a segment where you facilitate conversations about famous hijabis or modest fashion as the girls are engaging in the hands on activity or perhaps during meal time. See what interests your daughter the most and use that as a guide to plan out her special day.
Your daughter may also be interested in having someone she looks up to in the community or one of her friends do a segment about styling hijabs in various ways and for different occasions. The Haute Hijab tutorials playlist on YouTube is also a great source for this. You can find videos of HH CEO Melanie Elturk going over everything from taking care of your scarves, to various ways of styling different hijab fabrics. You can also turn this into a fun game or fashion show where the girls have a competition of who styled their hijab the fastest and then have them walk down a “runway.”
For favors, you can purchase beautiful hijabs for your daughter and her friends to take home. One of my absolute favorite hijab brands geared towards young girls and teens is Leena’s Hijabs, a mother-daughter company that creates beautiful and high quality hijabs that are stylish and easy to wear. They even have matching mother-daughter hijabs that would be a great way for you to show your support for your daughter and would make her feel extra special when out and about.
Not Just for Daughters and Young Girls!
Also note - while this post is clearly aimed towards mothers throwing a hijab party for their daughter who is more than likely young in age, all of these ideas can be adapted for girls and women of any age who are starting their journey with hijab. Perhaps one of your friends has decided to put on the hijab, or a convert in the community is deciding to start wearing hijab, and you’d like to organize a celebration for her.
Use the party-planning suggestions mentioned in this post as a guide and alter them to fit your needs. For example, for an adult, you can make the focus more on talking about your friend’s decision on wearing the hijab full time, her hesitations, what inspired her to start this journey. You can also dive deeper into the verses regarding hijab and have a group discussion about everyone’s reflections on these ayahs.Perhaps guests can share their experiences wearing the hijab over the years, the types of struggles they’ve encountered and how they have coped with them. Hijab styling is still equally important for older hijabis as it is for younger ones, so this can also be a main focus during the party. Our Haute Hijabs would make a great gift for the party girl to start her hijab collection, or as favors for guests.
Party Planning Resources
Party planning can be fun and exciting but may also seem stressful and overwhelming. As someone who thoroughly enjoys party planning and decorating of any kind, here are some resources and a guide to help you get started!
Start a google doc. This will help you and your daughter organize all of your party details and will give you both access to edit at any time. Consider adding these headings to your doc to help organize your thought process:
- Date, Time & Location
- Outfit Hair/Makeup/Nails/Hijab styles
- Guest List
Make a Pinterest board. Pinterest is a great resource for party planning. You can find inspiration for pretty much everything from decor, to party favors, and what to serve for food and dessert. Start a board where you and your daughter can gather all of your ideas for the party in one place.
Here are some great decorating ideas off of Pinterest for inspiration:
- Decor Setup: balloon garland party | floral party | tea party
- Dessert Ideas: cupcake decorating | banana split bites | parfait bar
- Hijabi Printables: hijabi flower crown 1 | hijabi flower crown 2 | hijab Is my crown | good hijab day | floral blank tags
- Favors: Leena’s hijabs | magnetic hijab pins (These can be added to goodie bags.) | frames for printables (Use your favorite Islamic/hijabi printables, add a ribbon and tag to the bottom of the frame for a personalized touch.)
Check out these hijab and Islamic-inspired party resources. With Instagram and Etsy being so popular for party planning inspiration, ideas and materials, we are lucky to have access to so many amazing small businesses that create beautifully designed Islamic related products and party supplies. Here are some of my favorites:
- Quote Lovin: Website | Instagram | Etsy
- Designed With Love: Instagram | Etsy
- Star Paper Moon: Website | Instagram | Etsy
- Kanzi Store: Website | Instagram | Etsy
- With A Spin: Website | Instagram | Etsy
- Harts & Crafts by Sanaa: Website | Instagram
- Crafty Emo: Instagram | Etsy
- Ummi Crafts: Instagram | Etsy
- Yenge Crafts: Instagram | Etsy
- Crafty Shiro: Instagram | Etsy
- Crown Your Occasions: Instagram | Etsy
- Design by Deda: Instagram | Etsy
- Lilly & Lulu Co: Instagram | Etsy
- Eid Creations: Website | Instagram
- Crescent Star Creations: Instagram | Etsy
I hope you found some helpful tips and resources here, and congratulations to your daughter on starting this empowering and life-changing journey! Be sure to snag her some of our own HH hijabs, they are a staple in every hijabi’s wardrobe and are a perfect start to her collection! Also, be sure to sit down with your daughter and check out Haute Hijab’s Definitive Style Guide, which can help her find her hijab style. Happy party planning!
Danah is wife to Kareem and mama to their daughter Kinzah (aka Kiki). She was born and raised in Charlotte, NC, and loves all things food, fashion, photography and home decor. After having Kinzah, she created her blog, Mother of Pearl, where she shares a glimpse into her life as she navigates motherhood and hopes to build a safe space for other mamas to connect. You can follow her on Instagram.
Image sources: Leena's Hijabs, Miss Sana Teaches, With a Spin and Ummi Crafts