We Know It's Hard to Look Away, But Stop Following the Kardashians
Posted on September 30, 2015
Let me preface this post by saying that I'm not a Kim-hater. In fact I find her likable and I've had many a discussion with friends about her hair, her make-up, her nose jobs - you know - the basics. So that's not what this is about. I use 'The Kardashians' as a scapegoat because, since they'll never see or read this post - you all understand what I mean when I say 'The Kardashians.' Those of the overly sexualized, self-obsessed, exceedingly done-up, obsessed with selfie-taking persuasion.
Now, let me rewind a bit. It's Ramadan, and I have to admit - I had a tough Ramadan this year, spiritually speaking. I had difficulty connecting with Allah (S) in a true, unfettered sense. Something was blocking my connection with Him. It was one of those nights - I was standing in prayer, making immense du'a in sujood, no one else awake. It was just me and God.
As I put my forehead to the ground and asked Allah (S) to open my heart to Him and to polish my heart from all the black stains that had built up - from all the transgressions, heedlessness and reckless disregard - an idea was stirring within me. I finished my prayer, grabbed my phone and went to straight to Instagram. I immediately unfollowed every Kardashian (you too, Kendall and Kylie - who am I kidding - especially you Kendall and Kylie) as well as every other "Kardashian" like real person I was following. No need to mention names here but you all catch my drift I'm sure.
This was probably brewing for some time, although I didn't have the resolve to unfollow them, because I thought to myself (as shaytan cheered me on), 'I'm a big girl, I know right from wrong - I can follow them and not be influenced.' Man was I wrong. Hamdulilah for that spiritual struggle this Ramadan too - it was just the catalyst I needed and the start to getting back on track. For those of you who are still in the 'I'm a big girl, I won't be influenced' camp - read this:
“Every vessel – every container – will only pour out what is contained in it, and that’s very obvious…Your tongue is your ability to express what lies in your spirit: television, the movies, the friends you hang out with, the music you listen to. Everything around you is environmental forces that shape how your being is and how your heart is. And when you open your mouth to speak it’s like your heart is a sponge that absorbs all of this material from around you. Essentially what you’re doing is squeezing what is in you and what comes out is going to be what has been compiled in your mind and in your memory. Obviously you can only express in your heart what has been placed in it. And so in order for the outcome and the output from the tongue to be positive, the input in that needs to be positive: in spirit, in silence, in talking…and throughout our lives.” - Shaykh Abdullah Adhami
You are not immune. I am not immune. None of us are immune. I don't think we fully comprehend the impact images have on our hearts. We may think nothing of them - but those images penetrate our hearts and lie deep in our subconscious; affecting all other notions, ideas and decisions we make. Be careful of what you let into your heart through your eyes - just as you would with images seen on TV or in movies - social media is no different.
Three months later - this was possibly the best thing I've done for my heart since that moment in Ramadan and I'm already seeing a change in my thoughts, the way I fill my free time and most importantly, my connection with Allah (S). (I didn't just unfollow people, but I added hadith and quranic ayah accounts and other awesome and uplifting accounts. If you're not already - go follow Maryam Amirebrahimi @themaryamamir for some really inspiring stuff). I fully realize that I may have offended some people (some of them were personal friends) by unfollowing them - but I had to put myself and my heart first. The fact is that it's hard to see a Muslim girl who looks like Kim K and flaunts it. Particularly as someone who wears hijab. It's harder to see the Muslim girls than it is the non-Muslim girls in fact. I never want to second guess my hijab, I never want to feel like I should look or dress like that in public - with or without hijab. Do I cut these people (the one's I actually know) out of my life completely? Of course not, but I'm sorry, I just can't follow you on social media.
I know this is a touchy topic, but I think it's one that warrants addressing. Please feel free to disagree with me, I really do love a healthy debate. But one thing I do want you to think about, are the images you are letting into your heart. Who are the people you're following on Instagram and Snapchat - the lives you're peeking into that aren't healthy for your heart? Maybe it has nothing to do with inappropriate dressing and overt sexuality - maybe it's the lifestyle you see that makes you jealous/bitter/depressed - or the gorgeous husband you wish you had, or the amazing career - you catch my drift. Do yourself a favor and stop following them. It'll be the best decision you make for your heart, and for yourself.