When You Think You Have Nothing Left to Give, Push Further by 'It Girl' Ruma
Posted on January 10, 2015
To be grateful takes a lot of patience and endurance. To be grateful requires a humble heart. To be grateful, you must understand what it is to go through pain. I wrote a piece about a specific relationship in my life with a family member. I wanted to explain to you why I felt a certain void throughout my whole life. However, these past two weeks made me realize something. It made me realize that no matter what happens in life; if you are grateful nothing seems to be wrong.
Last week my contract with my company ended and I lost my job. The last day of work, my car that I purchased my senior year of college left me stranded in the middle of a freeway for about an hour. A few other things amongst the midst of all this happened that broke my heart but I never stopped praying throughout it all. Then when I realized what happened and re-evaluated everything, I took a step back and realized these are things that had to occur for me to understand I need to keep pushing myself. We are forced by the mercy of Allah (S) to focus on ourselves, to push forth to bring out the best of ourselves. I am trying, Lord knows I am trying. Its hard. I’m trying to focus on what better way I can achieve a stable goal. Nothing was spoon-fed to me growing up. I mentioned in many of my posts prior to this; I grew up in a small town where a lot of families are constantly working paycheck to paycheck. Everything I have, I had to work for, but alhamdulilah I have always felt like it was enough. For the first time in life, I feel like maybe, Allah (S) wants me to do better than just “enough.” I share a lot of my personal experience because I want you to be able to understand that everything is okay at the end of the day. No matter what happens in life, we’ll be okay but that’s only if you have Allah (S) on your side. I prayed many times for humility in my heart, and I am here before you, telling you, I have been constantly heartbroken over small things, over big things but no matter what I will never forget these things ONLY for Allah’s sake. I do not want you to dwell on it like I did for many years. Instead, take it and understand that if we forget these things, it might reoccur. If we forget, we might become arrogant. If we forget, we might become ungrateful. We never want to be ungrateful. I never want to be ungrateful. So I remember all the pain, I remember the days I sat crying for hours trying to figure out, “why me.” Self-pity is the worst thing for you and the best thing for shaytan. We must always remain humble no matter what happens in our lives. Don’t hide your humility, don’t hide your story. What I mean by this is utilize these things to help the community. Express your thoughts and inner-feelings if you sincerely believe it’ll help someone in the future. Do a small action item; I leave a small dua for you all on my social media because I realized when YOU read that, WE all receive rewards. How amazing is that idea/thought?! SubhanAllah, how GREAT our Lord is.
For the first time in life, I feel like I am working on myself. I joined a gym and started cardio workouts. I put off my Grad School exams and finally came around to study for it. I take Quran classes every Sunday and have an Islamic lecture every week. I am working on my mind, body and soul. Nothing stopped. This is exactly what I’m trying to say; LIFE DOESN’T STOP. No matter what happens in this world keep a strong heart. Do not underestimate Allah’s plans and never feel despair if your plans do not go the way you want them to. I say this because I’ve lost a lot throughout life but you have to keep pushing. Remember the man digging in the cave; he does it for so long and then as soon as he’s near the gems/diamonds…he gives up. Of course he didn’t know he was so close, but you never know how CLOSE you are, you need to keep pushing just a little bit further.
I feel a sense of peace knowing that my Lord will never fail. I also feel a sense of peace because I’ve come to a point of realization; that EVERYTHING is from Allah (S). My parents are a blessing from him, my brothers, my friends and whoever appears in the future will definitely be a gift from Him. InshaAllah. Think about this, I never thought I’d have the opportunity to write my stories sitting from this small town, in this small house to share with you worldwide via this great company. When you intend for something, you’ll definitely receive it; if you work hard enough for it. So keep pushing and I want to leave you with this;
Alhamdulilah, ya Rab for allowing me to take a deep breath in this moment. Alhamdulilah ya Rab, if I did not go through my struggles (and constantly go through them) I would not be here thinking of you. Alhamdulilah ya Rab, if it wasn’t for your plans, I would not have tasted your mercy in this world. I can only imagine what the hereafter will be like. Alhamdulilah ya Rab, I want to purify my intentions for your sake. I want to live a life without envy, jealousy or hate in my heart. Ya Rab, take it away from my soul, my body and my mind.
I hope Allah (S) answers your prayers. ;)